Belly of the Whale

Anti-human


Nov. 9

I’m in better spirits this evening. The last week hasn’t been my most productive.
The run tonight changed everything, cleaned out my system from the lingering cold I had. Also the ‘Joker’ is gone, which will bring a little peace (loud and drunk – but nice guys).
My fingers are a bit tired after an hour with the guitar.
This is why I write: I love the guitar more by the day.
I have lost myself a couple of times now. I inevitably play another fifteen minutes after I decide to stop playing. I only know three chords. I need to find a book in the library.


I was pretty set to call the boat “Isis” until I thought of “the Grim”. This will take a little thought. The personification of death or the sacred feminine? What is the difference? “The dark side.”


I feel great. I was thinking about how damn lucky I am. I’ve been sitting here reading, playing guitar, I enjoy my work – not bad.
It must be the fact I have no phone, no tv, -- no house, no family. The less you have….

I am the anti-human.
I turn toward my fears instead of away from them.
I avoid safety and comfort as boredom
for risk and vulnerability.
I am concerned more about the quality of life, than the quantity.
Growing old, for me, will be a privilege, not an expectation.
I choose to be alone, though not exclusively so.
From life, I only require growth to be happy.
I don’t believe in Human Rights.

Yet today I am as happy as I’ve ever been.
True, I am often cold, tired, tendonitis aching my fingers and elbow,
But my sensations are rich, my smiles deep.
I am learning new games.
I remain a child. I keep the Beginner’s Mind.
Life sparkles around me.