Turtle Speed

Turtle Speed.

 

I am sad, and slightly irritated, to say that not a lot is going on here at the moment.  Time is oozing past.   Fiji is beautiful and I am happy to be here.  At last I am getting some work done, but it is spare and slow.

Where is my determination? My drive?  My goals even?  Once again I am in a bit of a haze.   I should simply weigh anchor and move to Kandavu—but changing spots doesn't often do the trick.  Ah, but this is different.   Kandavu is one of my goals.  I am only slightly tied here.  Herbert should reach Fiji today or tomorrow.   I could get him to meet me there—a far easier sail from his direction (he's coming from Tuvalu).

If I leave Fiji altogether and head for Vanuatu, I think I would feel like I failed for not seeing more of Fiji while I was here.

 

I shouldn't complain.  The last month has been some of the nicest, albeit hottest, weather I've ever experienced.   No rain, only enough wind to create draft through the cabin.  ARABY has lain nicely in Saweni Bay all this time.   Lautoka is cheap and interesting.  Also, when you stay in one place for an extended period you make more friends with the locals.  Some local fisherman I helped with their gps now bring me fish in the morning after a night's work.   And you start to feel comfortable in a place.

But the flipside is that I feel like time is passing me by.  What am I learning?   If I start a new book I may sit and read it uncontrollably.  Nothing can stop it.  I should get more work done, but no, when the book is sitting there unfinished I must read it.   This make me guilty, except on Sundays, and public holidays.

 

I want my drive back.  I feel like it is close.  I got ditched by a friend whom I thought would come sail with me for a bit, and that passage to Fiji caused a lot of problems that I still haven't sorted out completely, and ARABY is starting to show her true age in certain disturbing ways (deck prob.).   But really, I should be able to do a couple minor sail repairs, buy a few more stores, and I could be off. It cheers me up just thinking about it.

 

 

I keep thinking about the visions I had on passage from Tonga to New Zealand last year.  I want those things to become true.   I want to make them happen.  I am concerned that I am not on that track.  I feel weak and slow, not up to the challenge, or unable to see the right course.

It is hard when you don't have anyone else to help motivate you, to use as a sounding board, to show you when you are screwing up or to pick you up when you are down.   I am learning, this may be the toughest part of being continually alone.