09 May, 2005

I, the Pendulum


Feeling back to normal.
I took my engine out and now it is sitting on a table next to my boat. A new toy!
I’ve been cleaning it all day. It is old and mysterious and I am loving getting to know it at last.

This is such a very strange time of life. Crazy ups and downs. Nothing sure. A lot of stress and a lot of bliss. But I think I am coming much closer to knowing where I am going and who I will become. I want to envision it. I want to see it so I can consciously walk toward it. I don’t want to leave my destiny to chance.

As strange a time as I’m having, I think somehow it is fundamental to what the future has in store. This is idle time, chance encounters and occurrences. I am trying to discern the pattern and learn it and trust it.
Is it old or new?
Certainly this is a new place, a new time, but certain things seem to be the same. Why, then, are they challenging me so??

(Sorry for my aloofness and secrecy. It is by design.)

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