08 January, 2006

sad news

I made it back after a long time away--longest ever, perhaps.
Araby was just where I left her, which was nice, considering the weather, and I saw at least one motor boat on the beach where it didn't belong.
The sad news is that Moriah and Ben are leaving Hubris in La Paz and heading back to Port Townsend to work and earn some more money.  It isn't sad for them--it's a fine plan--but infinitely sad for me.  I won't make La Paz before they leave.  I don't know when I will see them again.  There is no telling.  And I love them like brothers.  It's a lonely feeling.  I was feeling lonely before I got the news.  This certainly doesn't help.
Life goes on and we accept what we first begrudge.
I am right where I want to be; I can't complain and don't want to.  Being sad is okay for a day.  But soon I have to get amped up for the next leg.  This was always supposed to be a solo thing anyhow, if it came to it.  I still have many friends ahead.  I am so fortunate.  But Ben and I started together, dreamed together, built together.  He was there for me when I was stranded in a blow.  We shared the same fears and overcame them.
It makes you love life to think of how amazing people are, how you come to know them and love them, and them lose them eventually.  But how wonderful.  What a gift.
True loneliness would be to not know them at all.

No comments: